August 6, 2019

Daylan Stubblefield Essay

Hi, my name is Daylan B. Stubblefield, I am originally from Pittsburgh PA where I grew up on Pittsburgh’s northside. I am 31 years old I currently reside in Landover Maryland. I am currently studying Criminology at UMUC, I plan on getting into federal investigations soon. Over the years I have lived in several different states around the country including Ohio Illinois & Texas. Growing up in a place like Pittsburgh really did something to me. I grew up in a highly religious family who believed not talking about our issues and problems with each other was the best way to move forward as a unit.

My parents had dreams, but they where dreams that did not come to pass and as a result lead to at times a very abusive & neglected environment. I have two sisters, D’Onna the oldest & Darrah the youngest, I was in the middle & the only boy. Early on I didn’t know what it meant to be gay. Even growing up in the church I didn’t know what it meant to be intimate with another person let alone another guy. I often focused on things surrounding me and that I enjoyed like video games, computer stuff & anime. The first mention of the word “Gay” was heard from a kid in church as we where leaving. He asked me, “dude is you gay” as he laughed, I laughed with him, of course not fully understanding what that question encompassed & me trying to be part of the crowed I said yeah!

As I moved on to high school, I started to understand my strengths & weakness’s. To begin I attended Oliver High School, supposedly the worst school in the district, to put in context what I was getting into this was the school they sent the “bad kids” to, now Why would I choose to go there? I didn’t. I was supposed to attend Schenley High School in the Hill District with my older sister & other family members but was told that my spot had been given to a newer student transferring in from out of state, I would have to wait. This meant that I’d be stuck going to my neighborhood school, Oliver. This terrified me, the same kids from Junior High that would bully me was sure to end up at the same school and bully me for 4 more years, this I was not fond of, so I developed a strategy, play politics.

The years went on and I began to acknowledge my sexuality, it was a bit of a struggle at first. I didn’t know what really to do so I consulted resources in the area I lived in, enter the Pittsburgh GLCC (Gay & Lesbian Community Center). This center is quite like the Safe Space NOVA, it was a place young people could come to and learn more about themselves in a safe non-judgment space. This was a place that I met some of my longest friends & most valued mentors. A few years later I was living in Chicago after working on President Obama’s first campaign, I was sitting in a restaurant with some friends and they started talking about their coming out stories, they looked towards me and said your turn. So, I grabbed my cellphone, created a group text with my entire family and texted the words “Hey Fam! Just wanted to let you all know I’m gay, thanks bye”. As my friends sat there they couldn’t figure out what was more memorable about the moment, the fact that I’m 23 years old living as if I was a fully out gay man and yet my family didn’t know this, or the fact that I came out in a group text message. The best part about this process is that it was on my terms, my way, and it felt liberating.

Places like Safe Space NOVA are pillars in our community to foster the needs of young LGBTQ peoples, it is important that organizations like this are around, if it was for places like the GLCC which Safe Space NOVA is equivalent to I wouldn’t be the man I am today. I am more confident, more eager & more ground in my roots as a person. These days it is easier to be accepted for who you are, easier does not mean everyone will do it, it’s just more common & as a result of that commonality we have a more ways to push our community into better spaces, and safe space nova is that space. When I have kids, they’ll know that spaces like this exist and that we are all here to help.