September 17, 2019

Words by Will W. Smith

During the last few months of High school I came out to one person…myself. Having had a girlfriend, I thought my attraction to guys was abnormal, physical only, and not “of god,” as my mother would later proclaim. I began talking to guys using MySpace and other social sites, meeting one guy in particular I enjoyed talking to. We would text and later meet spending time together. He was the first guy I spent time with in a non-platonic way, my first real boyfriend: T.

One Monday, my new boyfriend T told me that he met someone new over the weekend and made a “mistake”. I was distraught, heartbroken crying uncontrollable after class, my teacher consoling me. I didn’t let my teacher know that it was a guy I cried over that day just that I was heartbroken. That evening T begged me to come see him, I agreed and skipped class the next day. Noticing my absence, my teacher became concerned and phoned my parents to make sure I was ok, telling them of the breakdown the day before. 

My parents confronted me about missing school, and my teachers concern over my unexpected breakdown. They stated that if it was due to a girl, I should let it go and understand I wasn’t heartbroken I didn’t know what that was. My parents told me that school should be the focus and girls can wait and thoughts of love could wait. I remember feeling so frustrated, I knew what I felt, and they were wrong about everything. I blurted out it wasn’t a girl…I was went to see a guy. I told them what I knew, I am gay.