February 2, 2021

Words by Steve Garibell

I am going to share with you my career journey, which without being my true self, would have limited my opportunities for growth and not led me to lead our LGBTQ2+ Business Development program in the US for TD Bank.

I began working in the retail apparel industry right after college. At the time, it was a very open, safe, and accepting environment as I was surrounded by a lot of members of the LGBTQ community. It is for those reasons that I spent 10 years in that industry before making the move into financial services. 

When you change jobs, there’s a lot of different things that go through your head such as I’m in a new industry, I have to meet new people, Will they accept me? Making the career move was difficult for me because of the conservative nature of the industry. At the time diversity and inclusion were not widely discussed in corporate America, there were no protections for those who identify as LGBTQ+ and I was fearful of being open because of the risk of getting fired.

When I went into the financial services industry, I was much more uncomfortable than I was in my previous role. I was also more cautious about who I was talking to and telling my personal business in the workplace. My goal was to skirt around questions like What did you do this weekend? and Who were you with? This would help me avoid divulging details about my sexuality.

It got to a point where I was with a bunch of colleagues at a work event one day and one of them wanted to set me up with someone – a woman that they knew. I felt like I had gotten to know that person who was setting me up pretty well as well as the company. I also felt it was time that I opened up about my sexuality.  When I told my coworker it opened up an entirely different conversation because she is a huge ally and had family members that were part of the community. We became connected on a different level. Telling my coworker who I was, helped us build a deeper relationship. It also made me more comfortable with telling other people. 

There are different ways of doing activism. I consider myself to be a quiet activist. When it comes to advocating for LGBTQ+, I am unapologetically me in and outside of work. This didn’t happen overnight. Instead took things day by day and waited until I was and made a part of a conversation instead of making it a big announcement.

I went through many years with that organization and then made a switch to another where I was more confident and comfortable with being who I was. Once I made the switch I realized that I didn’t have to have that a-ha moment again and say, This is who I am. I came into the company saying this is who I am. This allowed me to talk about what I really did on the weekend, who I was with, and not having to hide anything. This gave me the opportunity to get more involved in our employee resource groups, our diversity councils, and chamber events in the LGBT community. Those opportunities led me to further build my career and start an LGBT business development program, where, now leveraging who I am has been able to help us – me as an individual build my career and us as an organization build who we are in the LGBT community 

I look back on my career and I don’t think I’d be where I am today if I hadn’t had that moment that told me it’s okay to be who you are, embrace who you are, leverage your differences to really make an impact every day and to build a community around who you are regardless of the industry you’re in. We need to be trailblazers in our industries by having more people be who they are unapologetically. Being your authentic self helps everyone else become more comfortable with it. 

We spend more time at work than with our family. Our work environment is what drives us – it’s what gives you money and keeps you going every day. With the amount of time you’re spending there, if you’re not going to be your authentic self and be who you are, you’re not going to get the most of the corporation you’re working for or out of the relationships with the people you’re working with. By hiding who you are, you’re missing all of the great pieces of learning that you can get from everyone. If you’re hiding something you’re not going to be performing to the best of your abilities. So by being who you are, letting people know who you are, and feeling comfortable, you’re increasing your performance, increasing your opportunities of building yourself and finding some great friends and mentors and people in our community.