September 14, 2021

Growing up queer can be one of the most terrifying ordeals imaginable. Every day is an out-of-body experience; the fake-it-till-you-make-it mentality forces closeted individuals to put on a show and exist unproblematically. Without a lifeline, it can be traumatizing. Growing up, I wasn’t in an environment that fostered a healthy LGBTQIA+ community. I had no idea there were tons of people just like me out there. The experience was isolating and damaging; it’s impossible to progress as a person if there’s an internal fracture in your identity.

Having grown up in a pretty religious community and household, I was taught that anything outside of the heteronormative sphere of existence was unideal. To not fit in and excel was akin to failure. As you can imagine, that was pretty damaging to a closeted middle schooler. Those teachings essentially invalidated my existence and communicated that I was innately flawed. 

I want to let you know that there is nothing flawed about queerness.

Teenage years are foundational in the personal development of an individual. This is perhaps doubly true for LGBTQIA+ youth. We’re thrown extra obstacles, barriers, and hoops to jump through just to “fit in” with our peers. It can be tough to garner confidence in your own identity when people are constantly invalidating and belittling you. The conventional social scenes in schools aren’t necessarily tailored towards providing support for queer youth, which is why organizations like Safe Space NOVA are so incredibly important. 

When I first involved myself in the queer community at the end of high school, I found a ton of hurting individuals; people who had anxiety due to their sexuality, were depressed, and genuinely believed they were flawed. As I said before, growing up queer often leads people to live isolated lives. It doesn’t have to be this way. Because of a lack of resources, information, and support, the idea of “coming out” is crippling; it seems like a massive undertaking that is unsurmountable. As someone who has come out, I can confidently say that my life is better for it. People were welcoming and accepting. While some situations may not be conducive to coming out, I can guarantee that anybody who is struggling with their sexuality has a support network at Safe Space NOVA (and tons of other places) waiting to guide them. 

Living your truth is a beautiful thing. The road to achieving that point in your life is tumultuous at times, but it is so worth it. Seek mentorship and know there are people who want to assist you in your journey towards authenticity.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There will always be people who love you, and, no matter what people may say, your existence IS valid.