April 13, 2021
Q: How important is an organization like Safe Space NOVA to the LGBT+ youth community?
Community was something I never understood until adulthood. It is something that I believe was taught to me without my consent – meaning no one ever checked in with me about who I was and what kind of person I would develop into. I was enrolled in sports, clubs, and environments where I never felt comfortable. I had very few friends as a teenager which meant I spent a lot of time alone. Overall, I found that I had very few shared interests with other kids my age. As a result, I grew up spending time eliminating people and places I did not want to be around. Rather than learning to articulate and pursue my instincts, I had replaced my desire for understanding with a basic level of acceptance.
Luckily, I did feel safe at home; however, that meant that I could not be honest with my parents about my feelings and desires. At the time, I believed if I shared my thoughts and feelings with my family, then I would have to deal with whatever reaction it might elicit. I somehow knew my parents would have more fear about me being gay than myself.
Seeking out a community was something I did not know anything about. Growing up we didn’t have cell phones or the internet so my self-discovery lacked intention and influence. The resources and recognition of at-risk LGBTQ+ youth were still in development. The availability of safe spaces like Safe Space NOVA barely existed in my development, but are in more need now than ever. I would have benefited greatly by having been embraced as a young person and introduced to an uplifting and positive environment. The bullying and behavior by other kids, as well as coaches and teachers who stood by without helping, affects me even today. I had to fight on my own and it was exhausting. It takes a toll and a young soul needs to be able to recharge.
I applaud Safe Space NOVA and its mission at developing a community that promotes equality.
Q: How important do you think it is to target the 14-18-year-old range?
A mission that targets the 14-18-year-old range is an incredibly difficult task. Nevertheless, it is one of the most important age groups. My own experiences tell me that these are the years we develop behaviors that help shape both our view of the world and ourselves. It is a time where we learn to love and accept others. It is a time that has more questions than answers, and when we learn about stigma. I was always taught to make healthy and informed decisions between these years, but never developed a sense of self wellness. I was scrutinized for being selfish for exploring my own vulnerability and interests. These years are the formative years where we need to learn how to identify bullying, social stigmas, racism, and develop the tools to promote understanding and equality.
Q: What are some of the challenges and roadblocks that you have personally faced within the LGBT+ community and how do you think Safe Space NOVA can help break down any barriers?
Coming out as an LGBTQ+ person is not an easy process, though there are some things that I do think can make it more of a fulfilling process.
First, there is an education and awareness of a movement and history which is needed to support every LGBTQ+ youth and ally. This education was an integral piece of my adolescence that was missing. Resources about gay leaders, artists, parents, and athletes would have been significant to my developing years. Matching individuals with leaders who were once like them helps break down the barriers of loneliness and can elevate their self-worth. Art showings, speaking events, reading groups, and inclusive sports teams can all be tools for success.
Secondly, Safe Space NOVA can be a place to answer the question: What is gay culture? I believe LGBTQ+ youth need to learn about culturally significant art, music, movies, documentaries, as well as the legal battles fought to bring visibility and equality to all members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Thirdly, there is almost zero health and sex education for the LGBTQ+ community both young and old. I grew up in a world where HIV and AIDS dominated any discussion and instilled a fear of death that would forever follow me. Understanding the difference between good and poor mental and physical health can save lives. Libraries, media, discussion groups, and mentors are all areas in which Safe Space NOVA can help at-risk youth.
Finally, there is the importance of learning to give back and participate in the growth of one’s own community. Developing a sense of pride and belonging at an early age provides the fundamentals of loving yourself before you can love someone else.
Q: Have you personally dealt with or witnessed someone firsthand deal with the issues in the LGBT+ community that Safe Space NOVA is aiming to prevent (depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, drug abuse, etc.)?
I have both personally dealt with and have witnessed others firsthand who have dealt with issues relating to the LGBTQ+ community. For myself, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation were present during my formative years. While never having gone diagnosed, I know them to be true after looking back on what I remember to be some of the more significant moments in my development and growth. Luckily, I never succumbed to these issues, but I dealt with them alone. And I can be certain that it took a lot of work and courage. Being unsure of and distrusting my own thoughts and tendencies was damaging. Knowing and being able to identify these thoughts before they become actions is crucial for mental and physical health. I believe that LGBTQ+ youth are constantly evaluating situations and environments to know whether or not they are safe. I think we develop extreme sensitivity to other people to a degree that we become adept at reading and interpreting other people’s actions and emotions. This process of evaluation and the idea that we come out as gay almost every day is exhausting. And it should be without fault that we often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms in the absence of guidance, love, and education. There is no way around the fact that no matter where you go, you take yourself with you. So you must love whomever you fundamentally are at the core of your being. I believe exposure to safe spaces where there is hope and honest communication can help prevent the underlying issues which are still omnipresent in our community.