January 18, 2022

“You have to decide who you are and force the world to deal with you, not its idea of you.” — James Baldwin

This is one of my favorite quotes, from one of my favorite authors. I absolutely love James Baldwin. He is one of my heroes. He was Black and Brave, in a time where it wasn’t safe to do so.

I remember being called “weird” or a “sissy” when I first started school. My cousin told me “well maybe you should stop acting like that, and people wouldn’t say those things to you”. I thought something was wrong with me. I used to try to fit in, so that I would be accepted by my peers. I tried to change the way I talked and even the way I walked. But the more I fought to fit in, the more I became an outcast, and the more I lost myself.

I finished high school without a complete feel for who I was.

When I entered my first year in undergrad at Florida A&M University and started making friends, I realized I wasn’t alone. There were tons of smart, Black, gay men everywhere. I finally found my tribe. My time at FAMU introduced me to amazing writers like James Baldwin, E. Lynn Harris, and Langston Hughes. These men didn’t fit in, because they were never meant to.

I stopped trying to assimilate and found my strength in standing out. Learning to love who you are can be a journey. But it is worth every step.