December 22, 2020

Words by Caroline Mattise

Last month, I took part in an Outsports webinar discussion titled “Starting an LGBTQ-athlete support group on campus”. We talked about our own experiences in the LGBTQ+ community and developing a program for athletes on our campuses. 

During one segment, some of my fellow panelists mentioned that they came out in high school and that there was even an organization for LGBTQ+ individuals. But they didn’t dare join it because of what others might think. Because of the perception of the people who were part of that organization.

They even stated that having such a group in high school might not be the best or most accepting thing because high school is a challenging and judgmental time, to begin with. 

But part of me disagreed. I said that it is the mere existence of that group that may enable young people to feel comfortable with themselves and who they are. They didn’t have to join the group, but it was the fact that a place like that, a safe space for LGBTQ+ individuals existed that could change lives. 

I didn’t come out until my junior year of college. That includes coming out to myself, my friends, and a larger athletic community as gay, as a lesbian. 

Growing up, I wish I knew that there were queer people all around me. I wish I knew that there was a supportive community out there. Once you can be open and accept yourself, you’ll see that there is a whole different world out there. One where people love you for being you because you bring something different and unique to the table. 

I wish that I was more comfortable with myself in high school.  If there was an LGBTQ+ group at my school or a place like Safe Space NOVA I would have become more comfortable with who I was at an earlier age. 

It is the knowledge that it exists that is impactful. It normalizes the idea that we are everywhere. It shows that queer people are allowed to take up space, instead of trying to fit ourselves into predestined molds. 

We are made to break the mold.